VALENTINE's DAY ?

Spoiler alert: I love. I hate.

Now, all the world is going to celebrate Valentine's Day. They say, they celebrate love. But, I never had much respect for this 'LOVE' thing. I still believe, people give more respect than due, to love. Let me explain.

Before we go any further, let me separate love as people understand it, love as people do it, and love as people feel, and in what way I differ....

Emotion

Love as an emotion. This is what most people 'feel'. The attractive force, one person 'feel' toward other, be it a person, a material, or anything, is often referred as love. I think the correct word for this is 'like', which is a form of desire. When someone says, 'I love Chocolates', what they mean is, they 'like' chocolates. Chocolates make that person feel good. That's it. This applies to people too. When a man loves a woman, it is purely a emotion driven by biological needs, both physical as well as mental. The attraction which is built in the DNA as a function of survival instinct, and the desire to survive, is what drives it. This applies to homosexuals (chance mutation) too, obviously. But, this 'emotional' form is so powerful. So much so that, people kill each other for it. Even themselves.

Even I tried emotion for the last two years. I dropped all my protection - trust me, it is possible - I just switched off what my logical brain says, and followed whatever the next person feels; so much so that I hurt myself in the process. I involved myself in emotion more vigorously, when I heard this incident: An ex-colleague of my friend, was looking after his ailing mother. His father deserted the family. This fellow, in his 30s, didn't marry, left his job, to look after his paralyzed mother. With whatever he had for living, he was looking after his mother with devotion. The mother died. After that, this fellow whose only purpose in his life was to serve his mother, lost his purpose for life, and killed himself. Logically, for me, it didn't make any sense. So, I tried emotion for myself.

'Emotional intelligence' was never my strong point. I felt from my young age that, 'emotions' are weakening and blinding. I was calculative, and logic driven. I hated wrong things, than loving/liking correct things. But, without experiencing it, and overcoming it, its not fair of me to throw 'emotional' love into the trash. Hence, the exercise. I went through everything honestly. My judgement was right. Emotions are blinding. It blinds the thinking capacity. Now, I'm getting better. The best part is, I don't need any protection now. Now that I have started gaining 'emotional intelligence' I can 'feel' emotional love too, without the stupidity involved in it. But, I would not give the importance people give to it, nor the respect.

Scriptures

Next, Love, as people do it. This is driven by people understanding the word 'love' as something superior, because they were taught so. Religious scriptures play an important role in it. Most of the scriptures, tell people that, the best and only way to reach GOD is by loving the next person as yourself, and help others. Charity and other pseudo-altruistic behaviours fall in this category. The most senseless sentence I have ever heard in my life is, "The purpose of life is to help others". On top of hearing it, it sounds nice. But, dig deep, it doesn't make any sense. By simple logic, the statement falls into pieces. If your life's purpose is to help others, what would you do, when you get stuck in an island alone?

Idea

This is how I pursue Love. This is what all matters to me. Love as an idea. This idea is about giving and more importantly sharing. Simple. Don't confuse this 'giving' with charity. This idea is about giving the best I have. This means I love myself. I love everything and everybody. I need, I want to get myself the best of everything, my environment has to offer. I need persons around me, things around me to give me pleasure. For me to survive and make a good time out of my existence, I need everybody and everything around me to give the best they have. Now, by logic, unless I reciprocate this gesture, I can't survive long. This is where 'Natural Selection' has devised 'altruism', I believe. This is what great philosophies of the past, including 'Hindu philosophy' has greatly emphasized the need for Love. Love, as in giving, as in sharing. And I pursue this now, emotionally intelligent, with more respect. This is mutually beneficial for all the practisioners unlike the ones which are driven emotionally alone, and by (mis)conception of mind.

That's why Love and Hatred for me is same. And this is why I respect the next human, and everything around me. This respect is enough for a good life. And the drive comes from self-respect. So, I would say, have self-respect, and be honest to yourself, and you don't need to celebrate love with a day dedicated for it. You would celebrate every moment of your existence. But, let me tell you, this is not as easy as you follow Love now. It takes tremendous courage to be honest to yourself. This is why I respect Gandhi in spite of his theistic background and other wrong deeds. And this is why I hate 'Mother Teresa' and have no respect for her.

Do this, and the affection you have for the people will be complete and beneficial to both of you. Even if the other person doesn't understand your affection, and is emotionally weak and less intelligent, don't lose heart. Never stop loving yourself, and you would not miss any body's love.

And you would not need a day to celebrate love. And for those who do not understand my idea of love, HAPPY VALENTINE's DAY........